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    March 31

    杂乱

    昨天真是太糟了,走了gurney plaza的三间唱片行都找不到王若琳和方大同的新专辑,话说我是真的很久没有逛唱片行了,还好最后我在cd rama的小角落看到khalil的一张新专辑。意外的是竟然在artist gallery看到这位太太的专辑,太希奇了。不过本人没有买,等领了薪水再说吧,反正不急,不觉得会有人去买啦 :D 不过我对于槟城的唱片行和书店是真的太有意见了=.= 分类及秩序都没有,搞得要找唱片或书都好难,找新的东西更是难上加难。而且店员对作家或歌手都不熟悉,问他们等于是白问!他们也不会帮你找一找或是查一查有没有存货,直接跟你说不知道!rars. 所以我的梦想是等我赚够钱了,我要在这里开书店兼唱片行,要像台湾的独立书店一样有个性的~推广槟城马来西亚的文化气息!好我知道这大概很难实现,不过刀大说说出来会被嘲笑的梦想才有实践的价值啊!!所以下个周末接了兼职,虽然不算赚很多但是算累积经验吧,我要变成真真正正的工作狂了!

    在facebook上作了太多心理测验,奇妙的是有些还蛮准的,不过嫌他们在我的主页上碍手碍脚的,转过来放作纪念!XD
     
    Do you really love music?
    You don't care what other people think, you love your music and you listen to it all the time you can barely sit through your classes without it and going to dances it painful for you because they play crappy music.

    What Does Your Handwriting Say About You?
    You are sometimes a very energetic person, but you are sometimes quite lethargic. You're moody, prone to ups and downs, and you don't have a lot of endurance. You range from very outgoing to very shy. you are a shapeshifter who is very versatile. You adapt well and you look at things from many angles. You are very detail oriented and meticulous. You are a careful thinker and a true intellectual. You need a bit of space in your life, but you're not a recluse. You expect people to give you a small amount of privacy, and you respect their privacy as well. You are conservative, old fashioned and a little stubborn. You are resistant to change. You are a good communicator, you work hard to get your ideas across effectively.
    这感觉有点像乱枪打鸟。呵

    What Common Stereotype Do You Fit?
    Emo. You're the person who everyone avoids, makes fun of, or perhaps envies. You write sad poetry and maybe slit your wrists once in a while. You're hopelessly depressed and think on a daily basis how to seek attention. Don't worry, nobody gets you anyway.
    ????!!!!

    What's Your Best Quality?
    Your best quality is out-going! People like you because you are fun to be around and no one ever knows what you will do next. Also you are not afraid to say or do whatever you want.
    这的确是,但是我不觉得我算outgoing耶

    What Rose Color Are You?
    You are a Yellow Rose, like the sun-warm and caring. You are a joyful and fun person and love to be around your friends.

    What disaster are you?
    Tornadoes come in many sizes but are typically in the form of a visible funnel, whose narrow end touches the earth and is often surrounded by a cloud of debris. Turbulence and conflict get you started and the you become a swirling cloud of destruction. Frequently violent, but it doesn't usually last too long.

    What's Your Beauty Element?
    Earth. You are the epitome of a natural beauty. Your look is definitely effortless. And while you shy away from a lot of make-up and accessories, you're no granola girl either!

    What Color Are You?
    Yellow. The color of brightness and sunshine-you sure know how to add color to someones life! A primary color, the color of sun, life and happiness-you sure know how to add color to someones life! A primary color, the color of sun, life and happiness-you sure do live a wonderful life and possess the unique ability to brighten anyones day with a mere touch. The color of royalty, smileys and happiness-be proud of being yellow!

    What Color is Your Psyche?
    Yellow. You have a ton of energy-both physical and mental endurance. you are rational and logical and you can help almost anyone think clearly. Optimistic and bright, you also have a secret side that's a little darker. When you are too yellow, you will do anything to get your way and no one will be the wiser. When you don't have enough yellow, you lack confidence, drive, and humor.
    似乎和黄色很有缘

    What Should Your Career Be?
    You will be a musician. You like to entertain others and be the center of attention. You want to become a famous musician one day, whether it's a instrumentist, a singer, or a dj. Reach for the stars and break a leg.

    What kind of guy will you fall for?
    Nerd. Your man is socially awkward and completely sweet. Although other people may make fun of him now, just wait a few years and those same people that made fun of him will probably be working for him. He will worship the ground you walk on and love you like crazy, although he may not always know how to express it. you find hie awkwardness endearing becaouse you know that underneath all that nervous stuttering and passion for obscure subjects is a really great guy who adores you!

    Are you romantic?
    You're passionate romantic. You love to love, and to party. Your relationships usually don't last very long because you always have your eye on someone new(?!). You are risktaker and love to experience life to fullest...Your romance is adventure and you love to love your man in that romantic adveturous moments.

    What Color Is Your Heart?
    A person with a Green heart is a person capable of undulging in self assertion. Such people are usually the envious type. They make agressive lovers and normally enjoy rash driving. They are possessive, yet positive and a wee bit self centred.

    What is Your Ideal Lover?
    The Care Bear! Oh, you poor thing. You've been hurt, haven't you? Come cry on my shoulder. My naked, naked shoulder. you are looking for a sensitive lover, someone who can spoon with you through the next episode of Sex And The City. You want someone that cares more about the after part than the during part. Also you want someone who can stay awake for the 'after' part.

    What blood group are you?
    AB. You have very unique personality and your methods are unconventional. You are dynamic and have a great sense of adaptibility. you can be introvert or extrovert, sensitive or harsh, you have a split personality. you can be an angel or an evil person. (标准双子座,呵)

    What fruit are you?
    Pomegranate. You are unconventional, unque, and just a little bit tart. you know hwo to make a lasting impression and often do so with yoru zest for life.

    What Kind of Friend are you?
    BFF friend. The ultimate friend. You know what it means to be a friend and you keep close. You are loyal and respected.

    What Animal are you?
    Puma. Reserved, overly critical, and sometimes a bit on the cranky side. You know where your place is and don't bother to impress people. You have few friends, but lots of respect from others as well. People see you as mysterious, because you don't enjoy opening up to others.

    What kind of date are you?
    You are mature but still in the prime of your life. You especially cherish you friends and you're emotionally ready to try out long-term relationships(if you want!). You are experienced(maybe beyond your years!), and people find that very attractive. your date better be prepared for scintilating conversations coupled with the occasional wild time out!

    What Do Your Eyes Symbolize?
    You have moonlight eyes. Moonlight is the color of mystery. Your eyes symbolize your ability to see yourself as others see you. You have finesse for letting other poeple know what you think. You have a soothing and calming ability that you may or may not know about. You have the awesome ability to draw a person's negative energy out and replace it with a positive energy; the world needs more people like you. Some words to describe you: patiend, self-controlled, perseverance, insightful, reflective, understanding, serene, and caring.

    What Kind of Smile Do You Have?
    Friendly Smile. You love everyone and they love you back. You are a true people person and have the smile to show it. Your smile, as well as your personality, is genuine and sweet, opend and cheerful. you will often find yourself being confided in and you will nevery be short of friends. You are also quite optimistic and have a great sense of humor and a caring personality.

    What flower are you?
    Daffodil. You have sunny disposition and are normally one of the first to show up for the party. You don't need too much attention from the host once you get there as you are more than capable of making yourself seen and heard.

    How romantic are you?
    Classic romantic. You do all the right things to make yoru partner feel appreciated. you go out of your way to make the happy, both with and without money.

    What Do guys Like About You?
    Sensitive. And not in that cry at a drop of a hat sort of way, you just get most guys-even if you're not trying to. Guys find it is easy to confide in you and tell their secrets. No wonder you tend to get close quickly in relationships.

    What Gem Are You?
    Ruby. You are the most powerful of all the gemstones, you radiate peace and contentment

    Which City Are You?
    London, England! You are witty and sophisticated with a proud heritage. You like looking good but you are more preoccupied with doing well what is the right thing to do. You can be a little moody and stuck-up sometimes but you are quite resilient and humourous. People often consider you to be polite, refined and polished, but they know that inside that sometimes cold exterior you have a great sense of humor and a warm heart.

    What's your love language?
    Physical touch. Your primary language of love is physical touch. A hug or a touch on the shoulder can comfort you and show you how much a loved one cares for you. especially when you're feelign doen, physical touch more than anything else can cheer you up and bring you closer to loved ones.

    What type of Heart do you have?
    Careful Heart. you take your time and do not fall in love easily. You give 50% in a relationship and expect 50% in return. you like to handle your problems directly and immediately. You are alright with not seeing him/her so often. you expect the person to change for you. you measure your desire to whomever you love by the amount of desire he shows you. You fall out of love easily.

    What kind of dress are you?
    Classic ball gown. You're one of a kind, not many people go for a classic ball gown these days. but thats what makes you so special! You turn up to the party and the mouths drop! You always make sure you look elegant and your best. but remember don't over do it!

    What Kind of Bride Will You Be?
    An Unconventional Bride! You're probably the type of girl who never considered getting married-until you met *him*. You're not a big fan of white dresses, church weddings, or cheesy DJs. That's okay-you'll do it your way... whether that means a Vegas wedding or guys as bridesmen. While you may not toss the bouquet, it will still be the most romantic day of yoru life!

    What Icecream are you?
    You are a Chocolate Ice Cream Girl. Dramatic, powerful, flirty.
    我是喜欢巧克力但是。。最后那几个字是怎样?!

    How Do Men See You?
    Choosy. Men notice you light years before you notice them. you take a selective approach to dating, and you can afford to be picky. You aren't looking for a quick flirt-but a memorable encounter. It may take men a while to ask you out, but it's worth the wait.

     

    March 26

    歌.情

    坐在办公室快睡着了,只好听听歌提提神.当mp3跳到曹方同学的比天空还远时,鼻子忽然觉得酸酸的。在不同的时间与空间里听同一首歌,总有不同的心境。但你永远都会记得那当下的情绪。

    如同我记得第一次听到五月天的憨人时无由的哭得说不出话来。
    如同我记得第一次听到苏打绿的Believe in Music是爽得频频跟着音乐点头。
    如同我记得第一次听到bizarre love triangle时一次又一次的重新聆听又重新掉眼泪,自己却不知道为什么。

    曹方--比天空还远
    谁能给我无限辽阔
    张望天空空空如我

    告别异乡孤独的客
    两个人微笑着

    谁能给我自由的窝
    坐在屋顶晨光直射
    熘出一段空白生活
    没有人发现我

    路途比天空还遥远
    一个人会不会寂寞
    漂泊的心一直辽阔
    如果世界只留给我一天
    路边的我镇静寂寞
    啦……

    谁能给我自由的窝
    坐在屋顶晨光直射
    熘出一段空白生活
    没有人发现我

    路途比天空还遥远
    一个人会不会寂寞
    忐忑的心一直辽阔
    就算世界只留给我一天
    也会这样选择生活
    啦……

     
    PS:春呐的名单出来了!!!-->http://www.springscream.com/2008SSRR/sked.html 哭,我本来要去的……有很多狠角色也有很多新名字
    PPS:方大同是个老灵魂,我猜他骨子里应该不是华人,华人不可能唱得出这么像样的nu-soul。呵呵。顺带一提另一个老灵魂joanna王若琳,新专辑的bass真的太太太玄了,即使是较商业的调调,bass还是很大胆很不同凡响的玩,建议把equalizer调成bass或super bass,超爽超酷的。还有joanna的声音每一次听都有不同的感觉,真的很神奇。
     

    March 22

    无奈

    就这么一次,第一次,我多么希望,时间可以倒退、或回头。
     
    真的,我长这么大第一次这么想,但是若果能回头那又如何?我终究是改变不了什么,因为我还是出局了。
     
    但是,难道就要我眼睁睁地看着你淹死吗?
    朋友说你已经没有能力抓住救生圈了,何况是援手。你只是会把想救你的我拖入污水里。
     
    我知道,我知道。这一切我都知道。但是我多么想,或许我的一句话,或是一百句话,能够让你稍稍有回头的意念。我就满足了。
     
    也是第一次,面对这么看似荒唐的事情,我却一点,一点也没有质疑过它的可能性。
     
    我只能说这是无助,也无能为力--我只能付出我小小的祷告的力量,希望能摇动上帝的手与怜悯。
     
    父神,我恳求您,再一次在他的身上让奇迹降临。
     
    March 14

    听见

    星期六刚从新加坡抵达槟城,下着滂沱大雨。然后我赶着到教会去听pastor tamil的讲道
     
    我迟到了,但是唱诗歌的时候忽然有一句话飘进我的脑海中,do you know how it feels to be a heartbeat away from God? 我感觉到那是上帝的声音,因为只有那句话牢牢的印在我的脑海中。多年来我的灵命生活一直起伏不定,我想……
     
    然后星期日,牧师在说预言,我一直很害怕。我很想听到神在我身上的旨意,究竟我该去哪里。我一直在祷告中求神告诉我,然后,我听见他透过牧师的口说(大概,不太记得全文了)--
     
    哪里有人拒绝你,哪里必也有人接受你。你会像搭帐篷的人一样从一个地方到一个地方,到一个地方再到一个地方去。你不要害怕,也不要焦虑,因为这不是人为的,而是上帝的作为。
     
    心里面的问题,好像有了答案,但同样的时候,我却觉得,其实我早就知道了这个答案,或许我只是不想去接受而已。搭帐篷的人……忽然我想到了提摩太,呵呵。
     
    会有这样的焦虑当然首要原因是因为刚拿了成绩。星期五a水准放榜,能够回到学校看到老师们和学弟妹,当然很开心。但我很紧张,紧张得在飞机场泻肚子,哈哈。
    成绩有一些在意料之中,除了英文文学和h3华文令我有小小失落,没有拿到预期里的优等。不过我不是一个会为成绩太难过的人,所以就还好。可是竟然有两个老师说失望 >.<
    gp老师在成绩公布之前就告诉我我的成绩了,我只希望拿个b,因为自己当然清楚没有能力拿a,但是老师说他本来以为我会拿a o.o 老师你真是高估我了。h3的吴老师也是,她说我或许临场失手了,哈哈!但是我已经对我的表现满意,可能是作文方面失利了吧。其实最让我感到挫折的当然是我的英文文学,觉得好像辜负了老师……不过ms kwok就说,its okay, you can take lit in uni and prove them all wrong!瞧我有多么可爱的老师--之后我竟然穿这高跟鞋在学校到处乱跑,去跟老师们说谢谢,尤其是我的经济老师。我一生中第一次拿到的B!哈哈。因为从高一到现在我最高也只拿过D,没办法,我对不喜欢的事物就是束手无策……
     
    不过当然要为我的两个好朋友欢呼了!第一个是大忙人叶诗诗,拿了4个A哦!!太厉害了,但是接下来的更厉害!我的未婚妻wanga小姐是全新加坡(应该有)前5名高材生哦!!还上各大媒体和报纸,哈哈。我有收集哦。去google她的全名就会看到很多关于她的报导了 :p 我好引你们为傲!
     
    在新加坡短短逗留一天,当然要赶忙去见朋友。和宿舍的朋友们7个人挤一间小酒店,哈哈。很好玩的一个晚上。连去吃个晚餐都要排半天队,新加坡真是人口过多。晚上和twin去看电影,the leap years害我哭得眼睛都肿了 :p 回到宿舍又哈拉到凌晨三点,云顶之行最终还是没有搞定 =.= 然后房间冷气冷得要命,我睡不着,凌晨6点钟又去找女儿,在公园聊天聊到8点多。中午和状元小姐wanga喝咖啡,嗯应该是约会吧 X) 诶,等你有钱有地位的时候可别把我甩掉啊。最后由儿子陪我去机场。我的新加坡行就这样,很累的,结束了。 X.X
     
    工作渐渐上轨道,在大公司上班是很好的经验。不过我想,我应该不会喜欢每天面对着电脑作重复的事情这样的工作。还好只是四个月,哈哈。还是蛮好玩的,例如昨天,要帮台湾地区的人料理claim receipt,我看到台湾的账单就很兴奋,哈哈哈。然后昨天也是第一次看到离婚证书,人的情感真是最多变数的东西。O.O 每一天都好像很快的过,6点多才下班,在家里吃完晚餐就追港剧,上一上网,看看书,读圣经然后睡觉。每个星期两次电脑美术课,让我稍微充实自己,说实在的我越来越佩服我的讲师了--他真的太厉害了。有点想多找份兼职的工作,但是担心自己没有休息的时间和陪家人的时间……
    PS!:今天帮员工更新亲属资料时发现有两个2月29出世的女宝宝!leap year babies 耶!!我也好想要一个 =x
     
    最近爱上一个人驾车,一个人奔驰在马路上,车上开着高音量的音乐,尤其是晚上,很过瘾。
    这里少更新了,因为我最近一个人料理5个blog,哈哈,我真是疯了。对了,请大家去看我的blogspot-->musicanata.blogspot.com
    昨天被一个不知所谓的家伙气炸了,又开口骂人。哈。
    March 06

    迟来的 新加坡行 朋友篇

    回来了,呵,有点差太久了的感觉,我星期五又要去新加坡啦……
     
    话说那天星期五千辛万苦的从柔佛到新加坡后,第一件事就去找我的女儿啦……超久没看到她很想念,哈哈
    登记入南洋女中宿舍后,对宿舍设备的改造非常感慨。现在竟然有个grand piano摆在那里!!!!
    真是的,回想起我们以前常为了music room耍小手段,现在竟然……
    然后又觉得有时过境迁的感觉,因为人都不一样了,连建筑与环境也逐渐不像回忆中一样
    在去esplanade以前和女儿八卦一下,呵呵。有点怀念在宿舍里八卦的生活,好像无时无刻都可以聊天。
     
    看完表演和twin去喝milo =.= 我知道很吓哈哈,本来要去喝酒的可是地方有点远所以放弃了
    而且我若是喝到醉醺醺回宿舍成何体统啊!我们还是一如往常地东扯西扯,聊梦想,聊电影,聊无厘头的事情……
     
    星期六早上一大清早醒来陪女儿吃早餐,然后赶去city hall找pennie
    吃了第二份早餐,我们分享着彼此的生活。又从她那儿听到了很多故事,还有她的工作经验
    唉,我真的很讨厌长大的感觉,可是又不得不面对现实
     
    之后呢!就到plaza sg去找同学……看到他们令我更想念初院生活。真的!那毕竟是我两年以来花最多时间的地方
    也在那个地方找到了许多欢乐,实现了很多梦想
    同学们说着工作的事情,交换着毕业的心情~唉!再一次见面就要拿成绩啦,虽然很想见他们,可是我却没有那么想我的成绩呢。
     
    星期六的下午和演唱会后的时间又和女儿泡在一起,真想念我们以前住在彼此对面的时光
    随时都可以见到对方的那种亲密感,是不一样的
    而女儿也在那里住了6年,她说每年都看着人们来了又走了,年复一年,朋友们都回来这里找她
    我想明年她搬走以后,我似乎没有什么回去的理由了?>.<
     
    星期日去崇拜顺便回去oldham hall,看着一副副新的面孔,看到有男生从我的cluster走出来,哇塞吓死我了!问了学弟才知道原来现在男生住2,3楼。2楼不再是女生的地盘啦!!呵呵。和双双聊天顺便了解学校的近事,发现有些陌生,有些害怕。虽然如此我还是很爱南初的!想到这个星期五要回去有些兴奋又有些紧张 >.<
     
    接着呢,我,女儿,儿子,死党khoon就去吃午餐……在bugis吃了什么怪怪的pepper lunch,或许是我食物中毒的原因,因为我吃了没有煮熟的豆芽!!!唉。我总觉得我们这组人是很怪的组合,不知道为什么,哈!虽然我们曾经都是‘一家人’,不过一起出来的确很有趣,也很搞笑。不过我最怕就是他们一直叫我妈然后逼我付钱 0.0 哈哈!道别前我们还吃了很贵的下午茶,是亲爱的khoon请的哦!哈哈,因为她是唯一有收入的人 XD 也很意外的收到儿子的情人节礼物!
     
    和wanga看完表演后呢就去她的家过夜啦……一如往常我们聊天聊到凌晨3点,啊哈,真不好意思第二天她还要去教书呢
    不过还是很喜欢和她聊天,真的觉得我们的相识很奇妙 X) 她真是个可爱的正妹
    可惜这个正妹竟然认不出我送给她的惊喜,哈哈,害我之前还一直在想象她的反应
    不过算了,她送给我的情人节礼物是一本探讨台湾独立音乐的书+不会死的花,哇哈!太爱你了,不过我还没看完……梦见野孩子倒是非常好看!!
     
    星期一临走前,竟然还在ica遇见我可爱的室友ting ting,我们真的太有缘了!这样也能碰面
    有一些些想我们在207房的日子……
     
    这篇真的是随便打来作纪念的,你知道,我最近记忆不太好,怕以后会忘记
    呵,因为我急着要去读我的sense & sensibility,迫不及待想知道edward到底在搞什么鬼!!!!
    然后要睡觉了,明天还要上无聊的班
     
    不过真的还是很想念在新加坡的朋友们 =)